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From dre420az@hotmail.com Mon Jul 31 10:51:58 2000 I received some salvia d. from Daniel Siebert last night. It was the regular strength Salvinorin-A Enhanced Leaves. My fiance, my roommate, and I decided to try it last night (damn impulse) I went first, at first I was scared (I may have done myself a disservice by reading so many "trip reports" on lycaeum) It worked partially but not completely. To use the common train metaphor, I boareded and it began to leave the station, but then I fell/jumped off. Experienced EXTREME disorientation. Next my fiance went, but at this time I was still quite disoriented. She experienced it but I was talking to her and the candle was too bright... she felt as if she was stuck in both worlds. One thing she did note was trees, and also salvia grabbed her shoulders and made her lay down (she actually thought I had done this) at first she was overwhelmed with joy, exclaiming that she had been there before, but then it turned ugly on her, she felt a taint. She's had a very difficult childhood with some ugly mental/emotional scars that are still in the process of healing, she realized she needed to let go of them, because they were pulling her under. My roommate went, at first he didn't want to talk to us about it, he said he didn't think they wanted him talking about it. Eventually I convinced him that it was ok. He was the first one to contact "them" he said they were in a semi circle around him, more of them on the right side than on the left. He said they were weighing him and they told him he was too balanced to go. Then he was back. He said that I was there, and that he knew I had been there because my skin was green. After discussing what we all experienced we decided to go for a second time. This time we realized that complete darkness and absence of distractions were imperative. We went in the same order. I actually began to cuss at "her" as the bowl was cherrying.. but not in a mean way.. more of in the rough sex way, I was telling her, "you fucking bitch" which is something my fiance and I had started to do while making love months ago "you fucking bitch - you fucking asshole" you get the idea. But then I began to realize that maybe that wasn't the wisest thing to do. This is the last thought I had while in the mundane world. Next thing I knew I was poking through, head first into that other place. I saw them, they indeed were in a semicircle, waiting for others to come, only I was behind them. One turned and noticed me coming up into that realm. He turned and called me, he laughed, not in a mean way, but he laughed at seeing me struggle. They were clearing waiting for me, and I think he told me "it's about time, what's taking you so long..." then he told the others "look who's here..." at this point it was TOO much (hell I had to come in to work the next day (today)) I was still there but I spoke out loud to my fiance and told her to turn on the light. She did and I was out of it. No disorentation, no confusion. Completely baseline, but the memory of the experience completely intact. I have some observations on this. I know this sounds crazy, and at first I was hesitant to share this with even my fiance and roommate. I feel that I am one of them. That there is a group of them waiting for explorers, and taht the reason why I came behind them was because I am not one of the explorers, but rather one of the ones that waits. I feel that there are those of us "awakening" and that my presence in that other place, is just beginning to wake up. Next time I plan on overcoming my fear and completely breaking thru, I need to talk to them, I need to know who they are, who I am, and what the game plan is. My fiance took her second trip. She broke thru as well. She says it was kind of foresty, mostly smokey. Maybe trees, more like tree trunks. She said they were there, and they were doing something. Something about picking up sticks? Or maybe she herself (my fiance that is) dropped a stick, or stepped on a twig. Whatever it was the noise got the attentions of "them" and they turned and looked at her. She said hi. They asked her what she was doing there. They said it wasn't her time to be there yet. When she came back she said she didn't want to leave. She wanted to go back, she wanted to stay there. My roommate decided he didn't want anyone else in the room. So I left him with a freshly packed bowl and the lights off. Approximately five minutes later he stumbled out of the room. Dazed and confused he didn't want to talk about for about 15 minutes. Finally he said he was done. He said he went as far as he could go, and that he (a person who has consumed in excess of 200 hits of LSD and is also familiar with psylocybin, dxm, mdma, etc.) is NEVER going to do another psychedelic EVER again... apparently it was too much. He feared that he would be sucked in and never return. He felt that it was the sum of all psychedlics rolled in to one. He believes that salvia divinorum is the original psychedelic and that all others stem from it. Not in a physical/botanical/biochemical sense, but rather as experiences go. I informed him that never is long time, but I would never force someone in to an experience, so I comforted him with some marijuana, which brought him back to calm, as he stated after we shared a bowl of good mj, "awww, now I'm back home." Can anyone shed light on any of these questions for me? Who are they? Is it possible that some of us here, may in fact also be "them"? What's the game plan? Where do we go from here? I plan on asking "them" this weekend. But I just needed to share this experience. What's hardest for me is that I was once a very skeptical person. Staunch atheist, if western science couldn't prove it, in my mind it didn't exist. But things have began to change for me. Experiences (some under the influence of various substances, many while sober) that I can not deny, things from my childhood that I had rationalized now need reexamination. I'm the first person to call someone looney, but I find that I can no longer fight this belief that I once had as a VERY YOUNG child (as long as I can remember, certainly by 4 years of age) that I am someone special, in a spiritual sense. Am I crazy? I know it sounds arrogant but it's not meant that way at all.. just this strong calling, and all these signs.. and last night's introduction to the Lady Sage just reinforced everything.. I feel that I am at a crescendo, it's like in Orff's Carmina Buerana(sp) and everything is building up to this point. I'm scared and anxious all at one. Well I've rambled long enough, feel free to email me privately as well as on this list. peace Andres |